THIS IS OVER THE LINE!!
I read an article today on Buzzflash. Apparently the Government has videotape of young boys being raped in the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. I hope I don't regret asking this question, but CAN THIS GET ANY WORSE???? That is horrible. It's one thing to act crazy and want to kill each other as adults, but CHILDREN MUST NOT BE MADE A PART OF THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!! The reporter who wrote the article states that the worst part was the soundtrack of the boys screaming. I can't even imagine the terror they must have felt. Keep your eyes open... it will be interesting to see whether this one hits the mainstream news.

Kisses...

Matt

I Love John Aravosis!!!!
In case you haven't seen or heard, John Aravosis has a blog at AMERICAblog.org and it fucking rocks! This is the kind of in-your-face activism that makes me tremble with Righteous Pride! It almost feels like the deepest, hottest Lust I could ever imagine, but in a totally non-sexual way. I'm serious! This guy calls EVERYBODY on the carpet and demands accountability for their hateful words and actions, but is kind enough to give credit where credit is due. I totally need to be him in my next life! Check it out and tell all your friends!

Kisses...

Matt

It's over...for now
The Senate just defeated the Gay Bashing Amendment. Actually, they voted not to have a vote. I guess that's good. There were (I believe) 48 votes to go ahead, though... Too many. Some of those votes, I'm sure, came from people who have cheated on their spouses, been divorced, abused their children, or in some other manner disregarded the marriage vows and family they are now so defensive of. This is not about defense of marriage and family, it is about hate. How is this unclear? I am so disappointed that none of the Senators speaking on this issue even pretended to notice this. They did point out the fact that this is a Conservative tool used to divert our eyes from the real issues, but did not mention the hateful, fearful, bigoted, and sinister origin of this fight. Nor did any of them question why Same Sex marriage is such a bad idea or suggest that it may actually contribute to our culture and society. Disgusting. And just wait...we'll soon see candidates climbing all over each other to claim the Gay Vote and they will all make promises and tell us lies about how they've always fought for us and how they came to our defense these past few days. Don't believe it. These people have treated us like we're dirty secrets and have relegated us to second class status and I will never, ever forgive them for that.

This isn't over. The House will begin debating our lives and freedoms next week. Please continue to call and email and send letters. Talk to all of your friends, family, neighbors and co-workers. Demand your happiness and freedom and don't take "No" for an answer!!

Kisses...

Matt

I Will!!
It seems like years since I've made any entries here. Since the last time I wrote, I went to Pride Weekend in San Francisco (and fought with Jason the entire time), came home (had the most mind-bending sex of my life...with Jason), worked my poor little fingers to the bone, and have become totally enthralled in the Same Sex Marriage debates that we're seeing all over the news. These things just seem to linger on the fringes for years and then one day pop up full blown and ready to evolve from dream to reality, don't they?

I must say I'm sickened now as I was in 1996 when the Defense of Marriage Act was being debated and, sadly, passed. I can't believe this is even a conversation. I will never be able to understand the argument that my marriage to a man I adore could devalue a hetero marriage in any way. And the arguments that we recruit, we're child molestors, and that we're opening the doors for polygamy, bestiality, adult/child relationships make me so angry I could VOMIT! Who do these people think they are? Are they so ignorant and fearful that their only weapons are oppression and dirty names? The same weapons they are so "valiantly" trying to destroy in Iraq?

If I think about it too long I get agitated. I spend most days being pretty happy with the world. Maybe I'm naive or too much an optimist, but deep down I tend to think that the world is good. I give the benefit of the doubt to just about anyone who asks for it because I can't believe that one person would intentionally try to harm or oppress another. I normally think that all of the world's ills can be cured with love and sex and a reassuring hug. But lately... I've seen too much of the other side of the coin. This horrible, murderous, deceptive war. Our CHOSEN LEADERS absolutely BENT on writing descrimination into the one document that is supposed to guarantee and protect our freedom. Parents beating their children in the grocery store. Murders, rapes, child abuse... What are we doing here both as individuals and as a community? Is this really satisfactory? I don't think it is. Perhaps I've considered too long our glorious potential and ignored the half-hell we've settled for. I KNOW we can be the free, fabulous and loving creatures I see in my daydreams, but we have to stand up and demand that right as our own. We can create the world of our dreams without hate, hurt, ignorance, lies and fear, but we have to claim it. We have to stand up and tell the people we have given authority to make decisions for us that we will accept nothing less because this is OUR world and these are OUR lives and no, thank you, we will no longer be satisfied with secondary status.

I fear I'm becoming preachy. (I believe I mentioned something about agitation...) But I think you know what I'm saying. I fully believe that the choices we make and the actions we take create the world we live in. Why not choose to live in a better place and in a better way? It's only as difficult as we imagine...

I love you.

Matt

Virginia is for HATERS!!
Here's a bit I found online at Margaret Cho's Marriage Equality site today...

New hate law goes into effect in Virginia on July 1st. Called HB 751, or the "Marriage Affirmation Act," this law is one of the most discriminatory laws in the nation. It bans ALL legal partnership contracts between same-sex couples and will prohibit same-sex marriage, civil unions, adoption and could void wills, medical directives, insurance policies, health care benefits, and home ownership agreements.


This is disgusting! Go to www.virginiaisforhaters.com or www.loveisloveislove.com (Margaret Cho's site) for more info on how we can make Virginia as unpleasant for the Pigs as it is now for the Fags!!

Kisses!!
Matt

It's June...HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!
It's June. YESSSS!!!! The Sun is shining, all the pretty flowers are in bloom and it's time for Pride!! It's not just a Parade any more, is it? No, no, no! It's a full month of parties, festivals and concerts all centered around our celebration of the equlity we have fought for and the freedoms we have claimed as our own. Nothing makes me happier! It's like New Year's Eve and Halloween all rolled into one! I also like to spend some time reflecting on what makes me "Me" because that's what Pride is all about. It's about celebrating the Freedom to be exactly who we are and to live our lives as an expression of the love, brilliance, and fierceness with which we were all created. Let me tell you a little story about how I came to this place...

I grew up in a very small town populated by rednecks with teeny tiny little minds and scary-serious fundamentalist religious convictions. Growing up gay under those circumstances is a Hellish Nightmare and it breaks my heart that there are baby homos living in the same situation right this minute. I'm sure at least some of you can relate. I existed in a constant state of depression and lived in never ending terror that someone would find out my little secret. (Not that it was hard to notice and I have no idea who I thought I was fooling...I was a full fledged flaming screamer by the time I was 3 years old. I was 9 when Karen Carpenter died and spent a month in face-scratching, clothes-ripping mourning. Come on...) I remember laying in bed as a teenager crying and begging God to either make me straight or let me die. Night after night I would sob myself to sleep with this one wish pounding through my mind, my soul so sad that God had abandoned me and left me with this THING that I knew I was born with but which was so terrible it was "worse than murder". (Thanks for the quote, Pastor Stephens.) This went on night after night for more than a year until one night as I lay there...I finally got my answer. As I lay crying, rocking back and forth, holding myself for comfort, I heard the words "You are exactly as you are meant to be." At that moment, I felt a calm that I had not felt in years and knew the words I heard were true. I didn't know the full extent of the meaning, but I knew I could stop torturing myself. I knew that I was not the problem and that I would be OK because God still loved me and whether my family and neighbors liked it or not, I was (and am) EXACTLY AS I WAS MEANT TO BE.

That moment in my life was a real turning point and has played a big part in defining my attitudes as an adult. Because of the realization that I am who I should be, I have come to accept myself and my sexuality and all that my sexuality and queerness have to offer. I became able to see myself as equal to those who surround me and I came to understand that it is a waste of time working for acceptance and understanding when I should be demanding respect and accepting nothing less regardless of what others' opinions might be.

This is why I dance in June. This is why I attend the celebrations and the parties and the festivals. Because I remember a time when I wasn't free to be who I am and I remember the night that I heard the truth for the first time. I remember and celebrate the fact that I no longer have to compromise the truth and love that live in my soul. And I celebrate the world we are creating...a world where someday, none of us will live in fear and shame and where not one more gay kid will wish he'd never been born.

So happy June everybody. Go out and party if you can. If nothing else, look at yourself in the mirror, admire your sexy rainbow complexion and tell yourself "I Love You" for all the good you do for yourself, for your friends and for the world. And know that your "family" loves you too....

Kisses!!

Matthew

Homoblog is HERE!!
Good evening and welcome!!

Homoblog... Self explanatory, I think. I am a homo, the content (if not at all times screaming "GAY" like a Judy Garland retrospective and sing-along projected across Peaches Christ's bosom on Pink Saturday) is homo and this is a blog. Simple but with a nice ring. My desire is to share my dreams, my experiences and my ideas with all who come here and to be inspired by your thoughts, fantiasies, fears, loves, obsessions, and whatever else you care to leave with me. Thank you for your time and I hope you'll visit frequently.

Kisses!!!

Matthew